unspoken

it's a friday post again... i only seem to have time on fri late nights to do this kinda stuff..

a song right at the top, so u can play it while u read this, and so i wont waste ur time playing the song at the end of the post.. but of coz, it's ur choice whether to play it anot...

green day has recently released their latest album, and this is one of de songs from inside..

"Last Night on Earth"

my campmates nvr understood and probably still dun understand now why i like these english songs from bands.. they prefer those like leona lewis's "bleeding love", which i nvr understood why it's good.. (no offence to any lover of this song, coz my taste is juz different)

i guess maybe i like these becoz their songs are usually loud, together w the instruments, and that could be sth i wanna to be but nvr am.. being loud.. but this song is kinda tame la, so cant tell much oso..

anyway, the title of de song kinda resonates with a thought of mine a couple of weeks back... that was the time when swine flu first broke out and everyday the newspaper headlines are practically all abt it.. which country got their first case, which country got their first death, wad the latest death toll etc etc... but as time goes by, as ppl realise that swine flu isnt that deadly as SARS, attention soon died down (at least for the case of singapore)

so wad will u do if u know u got a disease like this? sth terminal, sth that makes u realise that actually the flame of ur life is extinguishing... we often hear ppl say

"treat everyday like its the last day of ur life"

but seriously, how many of us can do that? many will juz go with the flow of time and soon forget that they take their lives for granted.. a simple flower pot that drops down from 8th story and lands exactly on ur head can take ur life away.. many ppl are like me, they do know abt this thing, but they juz cant treat everyday like its de last day of their lives, me too... "

"what if a car suddenly beats redlight and whack into me?"

"what if i got infected with swine flu?"

"what if i got hit by a flower pot from de 2nd floor and drift into coma?"

"what if the white spot in my X-ray result has been lung cancer?"
"what if i cross the overhead bridge and i trip and go over the railings?"

of coz the list can go on forever.. i realised i do have stuff to say to de ppl around me, but of coz i wont say them out.. this juz isnt me.. and not forgetting that long list of stuff i wanna do.. but of coz i still wont do them, or at least not all, coz this juz isnt me.. maybe it can be like 'PS I Love You' the movie/novel.. write letters to everyone u know.. but of coz by then u could be either too sickly to do that, or u are alrdy dead..

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ignorance is bliss

a famous phrase.. but is it truly so? i know sq nvr believe in this.. not knowing ur wife has an affair outside, not knowing u have a terminal disease brewing inside ur body, are these blissful? of coz they are not.. but with this phrase comes another phrase

what u don't know cant hurt u

not knowing that ur friend is hiding sth from u, not knowing that actually others are laughing at ur incapability behind ur back, could these be blissful? once u know these stuff, ur morale and mood will sure become low, and u will probably have a harder time dealing with these matters than those listed above..

know that ur friend is hiding sth from u, and probably has lied?

wad will u do? disown him/her as a friend? wad if it's a really good one? are u willing to give it up?

know that others are laughing behind ur back coz u're incapable?

wad will u do? try to prove urself? try to redeem urself? wad if u cant, and probably ur inability goes on?

and the ultimate qn: "do u wan to know all the truths?"

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as i get on with life, i realise that humans are so complex beings.. how they behave or wad they say can nvr 100% reflect wad they really are feeling/thinking.. a couple of weeks back, i got to know from a friend, who's very sociable and able to talk on de phone for very long, abt how my 2 other friends really feel abt 2 different events... to say de truth, i'm rather shocked to hear abt it, coz i nvr thought that they will think it that way.. it's like they nvr show it or talk abt it b4 (at least in front of me)

i often like ppl to be frank w me, coz honestly my EQ pretty much sux.. i dun pick up well on human actions and reactions, so i often will wonder if wad i did or said are 'correct' or not... but i wonder, that friend of mine, when he knew abt all these inner feelings of the others, wad will he feel and think? in fact, he has even thought abt not telling one guy abt the sunday thing becoz of one of de situations mentioned above..

and speaking of this friend of mine.. i always thought he's carefree and to quote him, a 'chilled' person.. but little do i know that actually he has much more burdens and worries than i thought... he's really planning very far ahead and has alot of ideas abt how to maintain finances so that he wont hafta worry much abt it in future.. i'm really amazed at his vast knowledge of wealth management, with all the technical terms like endowment fund, equity whacking me till i blur.. i nvr knew this side of him b4 and i'm pretty much stunned.. maybe ppl who often make ppl laugh have this as a shield to cover their dark sides in their hearts.. maybe only sons have more burdens than we think..

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was clearing stuff from my old corrupted profile, and found these.. nvr did post them up when i prepared them the last time round.. mayb now can be a good time, oso can delete them liao..