it's a friday post again... i only seem to have time on fri late nights to do this kinda stuff..

a song right at the top, so u can play it while u read this, and so i wont waste ur time playing the song at the end of the post.. but of coz, it's ur choice whether to play it anot...

green day has recently released their latest album, and this is one of de songs from inside..

"Last Night on Earth"

my campmates nvr understood and probably still dun understand now why i like these english songs from bands.. they prefer those like leona lewis's "bleeding love", which i nvr understood why it's good.. (no offence to any lover of this song, coz my taste is juz different)

i guess maybe i like these becoz their songs are usually loud, together w the instruments, and that could be sth i wanna to be but nvr am.. being loud.. but this song is kinda tame la, so cant tell much oso..

anyway, the title of de song kinda resonates with a thought of mine a couple of weeks back... that was the time when swine flu first broke out and everyday the newspaper headlines are practically all abt it.. which country got their first case, which country got their first death, wad the latest death toll etc etc... but as time goes by, as ppl realise that swine flu isnt that deadly as SARS, attention soon died down (at least for the case of singapore)

so wad will u do if u know u got a disease like this? sth terminal, sth that makes u realise that actually the flame of ur life is extinguishing... we often hear ppl say

"treat everyday like its the last day of ur life"

but seriously, how many of us can do that? many will juz go with the flow of time and soon forget that they take their lives for granted.. a simple flower pot that drops down from 8th story and lands exactly on ur head can take ur life away.. many ppl are like me, they do know abt this thing, but they juz cant treat everyday like its de last day of their lives, me too... "

"what if a car suddenly beats redlight and whack into me?"

"what if i got infected with swine flu?"

"what if i got hit by a flower pot from de 2nd floor and drift into coma?"

"what if the white spot in my X-ray result has been lung cancer?"
"what if i cross the overhead bridge and i trip and go over the railings?"

of coz the list can go on forever.. i realised i do have stuff to say to de ppl around me, but of coz i wont say them out.. this juz isnt me.. and not forgetting that long list of stuff i wanna do.. but of coz i still wont do them, or at least not all, coz this juz isnt me.. maybe it can be like 'PS I Love You' the movie/novel.. write letters to everyone u know.. but of coz by then u could be either too sickly to do that, or u are alrdy dead..

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ignorance is bliss

a famous phrase.. but is it truly so? i know sq nvr believe in this.. not knowing ur wife has an affair outside, not knowing u have a terminal disease brewing inside ur body, are these blissful? of coz they are not.. but with this phrase comes another phrase

what u don't know cant hurt u

not knowing that ur friend is hiding sth from u, not knowing that actually others are laughing at ur incapability behind ur back, could these be blissful? once u know these stuff, ur morale and mood will sure become low, and u will probably have a harder time dealing with these matters than those listed above..

know that ur friend is hiding sth from u, and probably has lied?

wad will u do? disown him/her as a friend? wad if it's a really good one? are u willing to give it up?

know that others are laughing behind ur back coz u're incapable?

wad will u do? try to prove urself? try to redeem urself? wad if u cant, and probably ur inability goes on?

and the ultimate qn: "do u wan to know all the truths?"

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as i get on with life, i realise that humans are so complex beings.. how they behave or wad they say can nvr 100% reflect wad they really are feeling/thinking.. a couple of weeks back, i got to know from a friend, who's very sociable and able to talk on de phone for very long, abt how my 2 other friends really feel abt 2 different events... to say de truth, i'm rather shocked to hear abt it, coz i nvr thought that they will think it that way.. it's like they nvr show it or talk abt it b4 (at least in front of me)

i often like ppl to be frank w me, coz honestly my EQ pretty much sux.. i dun pick up well on human actions and reactions, so i often will wonder if wad i did or said are 'correct' or not... but i wonder, that friend of mine, when he knew abt all these inner feelings of the others, wad will he feel and think? in fact, he has even thought abt not telling one guy abt the sunday thing becoz of one of de situations mentioned above..

and speaking of this friend of mine.. i always thought he's carefree and to quote him, a 'chilled' person.. but little do i know that actually he has much more burdens and worries than i thought... he's really planning very far ahead and has alot of ideas abt how to maintain finances so that he wont hafta worry much abt it in future.. i'm really amazed at his vast knowledge of wealth management, with all the technical terms like endowment fund, equity whacking me till i blur.. i nvr knew this side of him b4 and i'm pretty much stunned.. maybe ppl who often make ppl laugh have this as a shield to cover their dark sides in their hearts.. maybe only sons have more burdens than we think..

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was clearing stuff from my old corrupted profile, and found these.. nvr did post them up when i prepared them the last time round.. mayb now can be a good time, oso can delete them liao..

of coz manga are juz fantasy... we shldnt read too much into it... (but of coz, if u really wanna read them juz click them to enlarge)

One World One Dream?

Nah, we're from different worlds..

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so long a post... shld stop here liao... till next time.. (mayb next fri)

PS: i have an funny small bulge of lump of flesh at my thigh.. wonder if it's a bruise or what..

i duno if it's called murphy's law or irony or mayb even neither, but it's so funnily weird that everytime when u wanna do sth u have no time, but when u have the time u juz dun feel like doing it.. recently have lots of thoughts to 'pen' down here, but juz dun have the time to do so..

previous post was a simple video of 方大同's song, becoz i didnt have time to say much.. but it's my current fav now, coz it's juz so full of emotions, as though he has juz been through the story the song is saying...

time to 'pen' down some of the thoughts b4 my 'senile dementia' kicks in again..

recently a friend asked me and another friend of mine this:

"will you guys get a christian girlfriend?"

firstly, we are not condemning or looking down on other religions.. his point is pretty simple.. if u eventually marry her, it isnt likely that she will give up her religion of christianity, so likely she will ask u to convert, which means church sessions and stuff like that... and because the 3 of us are pretty much free thinkers, so he asked us this qn..

my other friend pretty quickly answered no.. the one who asked the qn oso gave the same response.. but of coz my reply was the usual..

"duno, nvr think of that b4"

albeit usual, but it's really the truth..

their point is very clear-cut... if no, den u can almost certainly ruled out christian girls as prospective girlfriends, so there wont be any waste of time or efforts in woo-ing someone when there wont be any result..

unsurprisingly, these turn on de switch in my brain again..

isnt it often said that love is blind and illogical? if so, how are we able to do this kind of 'filtering' of personnel? can we have some kind of 'checklist' to even 'select' someone? will there be a case where u kinda like this girl after some times u spend around her, but u hafta hit the brakes and stop to think "hey, she's christian, i shld get rid of these feelings" ?

also, the commonly heard phrase, "love at first sight".. if u find someone which fits this phrase, den religion wont come into the picture anymore.. but den again, i believe that at first sight, mayb u think that girl is beautiful, or for case of girls, that guy is cute/handsome, that person will juz become an eye candy at the most...

love at first sight? nah, not in my school of thought..

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juz these few days, a fellow temp at my workplace made me suddenly realise sth..

I'M ACTUALLY POOR!

funny that one can suddenly realise he's poor, considering that he didnt go through any dramatic events in life, eg bankruptcy.. his point is oso very simple.. (i juz dun get simple points in life)

during the years in university, assuming u have no pocket money from ur parents, u only have ur savings to rely on.. say for my case, is 3 years in uni.. say i start with $9000 in my savings.. (which i doubt i have currently) that makes $3000 per year, which makes $250 per month!!!

of coz ppl can always say "u have 3 months of hols yearly what, can go find jobs"

true, but that's not for certain.. me myself looked for a job from feb to april b4 getting one...

so that temp's thinking is that we try to earn as much as we can now.. for him he has 2 jobs too.. one de same as mine, de other tuition..

frankly speaking, i nvr really regard money as an important aspect in my life.. sure i know i'm not rich, but i dun quite really consider saving money, mainly becoz i dun spend alot anyway.. however i wont reject much stuff becoz of money..

go there eat? could go up to 30+ bucks.. --> okay
book out take cab home? --> okay
friend forgot to pay me 3bucks he owed me? --> nvm
stranger coming up to borrow 2bucks? --> it's okay, only 2 bucks

and the list can go on, becoz i'm really alright with money.. but now that a new thinking has been 'inserted' into my mind, i'm not sure what's really the right way to go..

prioritize money? start 'grabbing' money as we can now? somehow i feel this isnt the right way to go, but now it sure seems the thing of importance.. i always see my 2nd job as a supplement, and i even thought of giving it up becoz the money doesnt matter to me then.. but now, shld i juz hecticly do as much of the 2nd job to try to earn more? that will be the ultimate no-life... 7 days of work.. constantly thinking and rushing of work... that will mean less time for leisure and rest meant for weekends isnt it? but funnily, isnt that the path i've chosen for next time? life of accountants and auditors, work like dog for the decent pay..

almost 1am.. i still have other thoughts, but probably leave them to next time.. i shld probably go slp liao.. tml still hafta try wake up early.. coz guess what? hafta work on 2nd job! =x

been working for 3 wks now.. job has been rather boring, but at least time passes rather quick, coz there isnt much waiting involved.. u juz work work work and once in a while u look up at the clock and u find that 1hr+ has passed by liao..

journey to workplace is long.. ideal case would be 1 hr to and 1 hr back.. but with the peak hours' traffic jams this isnt really often the case.. have been reporting to work for a variety of timing.. 820, 830, 900, and once 930 too.. luckily the journey home is much more consistent, normally can reach sengkang within 630 to 640, except for fri which once happens to only reach at 650.. fri always seems to have much more cars on de road than other days... early knockoff mayb?

de morning ride always passes rather quicker, simply becoz i juz sleep throughout the journey, so in a flash it ends.. for evening one it's different, coz i juz cant fall asleep then.. so it's juz look out at the scenery that is becoming more n more familiar by the day and the moving vehicles around...

at this time the mind tends to wander around, and this is often the case ppl call it 想太多.. and sometimes interesting topics juz pop into the head.. here's one of them, becoz i doubt i'll come back to update another post soon...


blogs is a rather interesting thing... ppl use it for many purposes.. some use it as a journal/diary where they talk abt their everyday lives... some use it to sell stuff, becoz of the various easy functions blogs provide as opposed to building a website from scratch.. some use it to give their views (and judgements) on everything, from society issues, to the stuff happening around/to them, to the people around them... some use it to sound out stuff they dun normally do in their real lives, like scolding others, ranting, crying out in frustrations or simply juz to deliver a message to either an intended party or the whole world (or simply anyone who happen to read it)..

and i feel that all these uses have the same purpose, and that's to reach out to the others... how many truths are there then? which are real, and which are 'faked' for the sake of those reading? of coz i'm not condemning all bloggers, becoz that will be shooting myself in the foot... it's juz that i'm intrigued by all these different kinds of entries ppl post when they shld noe that someone out there is probably reading.. it could even be someone they nvr thought would come and read...

as we all know a couple of years back a couple of guys were charged for posting unreasonable stuff on their blogs, so now there's some kind of invisible 'restrictions' on the stuff we can post.. army stuff are also sensitive so we often hear them telling us to be careful of wad we post online, so there's more 'restrictions'.. however, i believe there's also a kind of restriction the bloggers bound onto themselves... simply because of this fact that u know that ppl are reading, u tend to leave out certain stuff, which u think may cause u inconvenience or harm.. i myself know abt this, simply becoz i've done it b4, by blogging in a very indirect way so as to make things very vague, by using words like 'he', 'the man', 'the woman' blah blah w/o specifying who exactly they are..

so i quite feel that blogs are sth quite like 'show and tell'... be it to show the products u wanna sell, or show wad u're feeling, or show wad are ur views like, or show the messages u are trying to convey..


okay, this thought juz seems to become weaker and weaker as i type it... so i juz concluded it with a rather stupid ending..

there's this song i've 'discovered' recently.. it's actually a song from abt 2 years back.. i've only heard parts of it on radio once in a while and i always wondered who's de singer.. found out it's actually by eason chan.. quite a good song i feel, with good lyrics too... here it is..





it's funny nowadays how i'm posting all these videos and pictures here, sort of like i'm 'sharing' them or what, when i dun even know who does come here... when i juz started this blog, (which is really years ago) ppl often ask why i dun wanna change to a cooler blogskin... i did change to one, albeit for a really short while, mayb a couple of days... i juz feel that it's weird, like i'm doing this for exhibition or sth... but now with all these videos and stuff, i feel like i'm doing sth i didnt want to do in the beginning, which is kinda weird when u actually think abt it...

a long long post, which means i shld probably stop here... let's end with a phrase (or a sentence) which i made up, and feel it's actually pretty true...

the lower the expectations, the lower the disappointment and pressure