2day concluded de 3 days of xmas disaster for me =x it's disaster coz during this kind of holidays period, in addition wif the weekends, de crowds are terrifying.. it's as though there would be a war next day n ppl r flocking to de supermarkets to stock up at home.. worked 12 hrs de day b4 and ytd.. on de day b4 i only knew i working that long when i was abt to knock off, coz they still need help wif de orders.. den ytd i knew beforehand i need work that long, coz it's already expected it would be de busiest of de 3 days.. i wasnt helped at all when i slept at 1am for de past 2 days... was really tired 2day due to lack of slp... tml still neeed wake up damn early la =S coz need go queenstown for the RTW (ready to work) course which is a must for a new ntuc workers.. it's from 9 to 5, and so i needa reach queenstown by 9! oh man, wad time i gotta wake up sia.. =/

de gals of my class came by 2day to visit me at hougang pt.. but den i oso couldnt talk much to them den, coz i needa work... they shld haf told me earlier they coming, so at least they could haf had lunch wif me ( coz i juz returned from my lunch break when yiyu called) lol.. it seems as though i asking a lot sia... juz jking only, it's always gd when u got frens to come down to visit u when u dun really haf many ppl u noe at ur working place.. but to haf lunch alone seems weird but i tink i would get used to it soon.. but den they were not de 1st ajcians i saw at hougang pt ntuc.. first person i saw was junda, which happened a couple of days ago.. i guess it gotta do wif de coms set up juz outside hougang pt.. den i saw jia cheng from 02 ytd.. had a little talk wif him, coz he was rather shocked when he saw me working there.. de funny thing is, i completely forgot his name! though i noe who he is... i kept thinking until i reached home but i still cant rmb, so hafta rely on yearbook =X den de next ppl from aj i saw were de gals of my class liao...

my mother's sisters and their families came by juz now to my house for dinner... some sort of gathering during xmas.. quite cool sia.. but den i didnt join them for dinner anyway.. was at com all de while =x a bit anti-social =x i oso didnt go to de 08 gathering at yiyu's hse juz now, oso a bit anti-social =x duno y, mayb a bit shagged from work after working 2 days 12 hrs.. but den got a bit of surprise when i called them to tell them my decision... but den again, my EQ is low n so i cant sometimes really dun understand wad ppl r thinking...

still havent got my book back from xav... =/ i'm still waiting to see wad de others haf written inside.. i tink i needa go get it back from him soon, if not he would nvr return me =S but to personally go his hse seems a bit ma fan, coz need walk quite some way to his hse from de interchange, n i duno how take bus to his hse =/

gtg slp soon liao.. still got de RTW thingy tml.. feel so sian =/ needa go so far n de long journey seems a bit sian..

PS: tried to dl corrinne may's albums, but de files seem to stuck when it's abt to finish =/ but den! i found that de site corrinnemay.com has a radio where i can listen to 2 albums of hers =D another very good singer that's made in singapore, but not many ppl noe her though =S

today's off day for me.. actually jennifer, my other boss, came ytd to ask if i really want an off day 2day, coz i only worked for 5 days this wk (tues to sat), so if i haf a off day 2day den my pay would be deducted accordingly as i would be seen as taking leave today... but den i still decided to take an off day 2day, coz i have been looking forward to this break a couple of days back..

slept rather late last nite, to be exact would be 3am this morning, so woke up at 1+ pm 2day... didnt do much 2day actually, only watched star awards repeat in afternoon den used com a while after that.. den went to clear some of my old stuff.. stuff like pokemon cards, yugioh cards, digimon cards, wwe cards etc, which shows that i got tons of cards.. lolol... found a lot of stuff which haf long slipped off my mind, and i'm really amazed to find all these stuff again.. den oso sorted out my drawer, which was so messy after being left to rot for some time le... there were a lot of i-got-this-stuff-meh kind of situations as i went thru my stuff... quite interesting, and quite a gd way to spend the off day, instead of juz lazing around duno wad 2 do...

quite ironic that when working u will always hope for off day to come soon, but when off day comes u will be quite sian wif nth much to do, unless u haf already planned sth to do... 2day i oso went to listen to all the songs in kaira gong shi jia's first album.. although i was the first few who noticed her when she first started out (my frens were going like "gong wad?" when i asked them if they heard of her b4), i only listened to a couple of tracks last time when de album was juz released... 2day found that de other songs are ok, none really left a deep impression in me except for one, which i found the lyrics rather meaningful...

起初只是朋友 -- 龚诗嘉

坐在窗边看夜景
等着黎明的来临
夜空布满了星星
仿佛点燃着你的名
曾经拥有的回忆
是否会像颗流星
光芒绚丽划过天际
消失后毫无痕迹
起初只是朋友而已
这个故事谁不熟悉
美丽的结局我不敢肯定
等待你的回应
起初只是朋友
以后是否能再继续
这份感情若带给你恐惧
我宁愿隐藏在心底
在这一夜我没有睡
一直后悔为何要把自己说清
万一只是万一
我就会一瞬间
完全失去你

a brief summary of de song (if u lazy read, coz i noe reading song lyrics is quite weird) is that de person confesses to the one she (i use she coz it's kaira singing) likes, but she's unsure if he accepts it anot, and she risks forgoing the whole friendship if the guy rejects her.. things are like that, confession will risk de friendship, as it would not be de same again, regardless if the confession goes successful anot.. but dun confess oso makes the person miserable, n in even worse cases both suffer if both like each other but dun dare make the first step... contradicting it is, but that's life for u...

i'm a temporary full-time hougang point ntuc worker as from ytd.. started work ytd, from 2 to 10.20, coz each shift is 8 hrs n 20 min.. had mixed feelings during the job.. initially was still ok, i helped wendy, one of my bosses, to replenish stocks at the frozen sections.. but after a while my fingers became stiff and the coldness was striking pain in my fingers... didnt know that this could happen and i was slightly surprised.. den i struggled to replenish stocks, and wendy sort of realised this and said i'll get used to it some time, as she's already numb to it... den went around to help arrange the goods and check for the expiry dates.. that's de initial part of the job ytd...

my primary job for this couple of weeks up till xmas was to take the xmas orders for ham, turkey etc etc... in the afternoon i only took like 2 to 3 orders and after the arranging of goods i was totally bored, especially in the late afternoon and evening period.. oso, due to long period of standing, my legs suffered but i couldnt really sit coz that would be slacking around.. but de aunties that are guiding me are nice and kept telling me to sit, coz i'm new and not used to it... but i was totally sian during that period, as i was watching the clock all the time... i even had the intention to quit! =X but things become much busier and better at nite, i suppose becoz on weekdays ppl r released from work and so they can come at nite.. by contrast, i took like 7 to 8 orders at nite.. it was busy, but it was better than doing nth..

was quite paiseh, as i'm still not fully trained and so i duno a few stuff... but the customers didnt noe and so they expect u to be already fully trained.. so i was rather paiseh when i was left alone at the counter and they come and expect me to help them, when i duno how to! and their faces of annoyance bother me quite a bit when i told them they needa wait... but at nite the aunties taught me a little abt the stuff and let me try a little hands-on, although some customers r still not that happy as my movements r rather slow.. well, guess time will make it better.. den at nite, abt 1 hr b4 i ended my day at work, i went to do some admin stuff, which involves sending de xmas order to HQ.. was quite stressed, as wendy stresses that i cannot make a mistake abt the quantity i keyed in coz that will lead to major repercussions... so i needa double-check every order i keyed in..

in de end reached home at abt 1045, where i ended up real tired, with legs sore and my right wrist getting sore too... abt my right wrist getting sore i wasnt really sure why, as i didnt really do much tough stuff with my right hand.. mayb de coldness from the frozen section is attacking my old injury... but i got de thought of deciding not to work anymore ytd =/ coz i ended up real tired and damn sore.. but thinking of de aunties helping me, and wendy, my real nice boss, who even offered to help me safekeep my apron till saturday when i could bring it home to wash on sunday, my day off.. i guess i'll persevere on..

well, my mother going for a minor op 2day.. real minor i guess, coz she didnt hafta stay in the hospital after it.. but for wad i still duno, and cant really ask her abt it.. well, it's juz my character not to ask that much.. listen to wad others haf to say, but dun bother to press on asking if they nvr tell u... that pretty much sums up my character.. so, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for 2day...

prom was ytd.. kept thinking whether to go anot.. mayb it's another of my many mistakes i have committed in my life.. it juz wasnt an occasion suited for me, unlike that in sec 4, where at least i still knew quite a few ppl in my sch, whereas in aj i barely know any... mayb the fact that i haf forgotten to take de prom ticket n hafta go back n take was a hint for me to not go, but den since i decide to still go along, i shld haf been happier, at least that wouldnt spoil others' moods rite? mistake after mistake was committed ytd, and it wasnt really one of my highlights of my life..

after that decided to go pubs, those that were opened 24 hrs n haf tv so that we can watch champions league.. however it seems like no pub is opened 24 hrs on weekdays n we ended up sitting by de s'pore river and talked crap... felt really not good for jy as we asked him to come along coz we tot there would be pubs opened, when in de end he has to sit wif us to talk crap, and he could haf gone wif his class to do better stuff such as pool or movie...

but the whole nite spent w/o sleeping brought several qns to my mind.. many of which i still cant find the answers to.. does it seem to be like it is, or do appearances fool? i really cant figure that out... i guess i got much more to learn abt psychology.. 2day was oso not that gd.. reached home at abt 7 plus, den went slp at 8am, all de way to 530pm... went see doc 2day, and de diagnosis turned out to be that i'm now juz suffering from simple illnesses... ZZZ... real crap sia.. den wad's de point of seeing a doc? a complete waste of money i muz say... am really angry wif myself for being so weak this year.. this year de no. of illnesses i haf could even exceed the no. i had for the past 5 years, and this isn't exactly exaggerated, coz i can boast of going to de doc for less than 5 times during my entire secondary sch life...

organising stuff really sux.. i haf been delaying 4/1 gathering for some time coz i really duno wad to do or organise for them to do... and wif other stuff oso left undone, i'm really quite sian of myself, especially when i still spend lots of time on de com... wanted to find my own job, but juz dun haf de motivation to find, and i dun wanna let my mother do de work of finding, but it seems as though i gotta rely on her yet again... wad a case of mommy boy... and i seriously need to cut down on de going out and sleeping late to recover completely from my sickness, to save my mother's money on unnecessary medications... haizzzzzzzz.....

讨厌自己