in life, change is inevitable... however, i have nvr liked changes at all, in my entire life... to say de truth, i kinda hate changes, i tink... but mayb 'hate' is too strong a word liao ba, but i'm oso not sure abt myself... de change from and sec to aj, de change from old 08 to new 08, de change of teachers... i nvr liked any of these at all.. but this past week has shown me something... i hate myself now... i haf changed... this week has been a shocking experience to me... change till a point which i dunno if i'm still that old PWS...
pe had been an ok experience for me, no matter how it was, i would still get past it... no matter how tired my legs were, no matter how breathless i was, no matter how tough it was, i will still complete de stuff... saw june holidays as a great chance to improve my physical condition, but tues i realised that my so-called 'trainings' were as good as trash... 2 rounds 4 min, was part of de circuit training on tues... completed 1st set of running, stomach felt like overturned le... den it's de 2nd set of de circuit, ran eh... half a round? den i started to walk liao... totally dun haf that motivation to carry on le... where did de motivation in de 1st half of de year go to? left le mah? someone said this to me b4, 'cannot throw ncc face ah'... ya, true, i cannot throw ncc face, but i tink i threw it all on tues...
fren from PS saw me in canteen 2day... happened that i was asked y i didn't go PS... my reply was simple, 'i pon lor'... short n sweet, simply shows that all my previous talks abt photography were like trash too...
kinda not interested in studies anymore le... well, i'm not even sure if i haf that interest in de 1st place anot... physics qns were written on de whiteboard during phy lesson on tues... couldn't be bothered to take tys from locker, whole lesson was 'copying' some concept map on current of electricity, to show that i'm doing sth... in de end, de concept map was half copied, messy, n put aside... 2day another phy lesson, nvr did those qns, copied de workings of one qn from de whiteboard.. had seen these homework as responsibilities because i chose a jc, and now, i'm not bothered wif these responsibilities...
character changed a lot... to say de truth, an hour ago, shouted at a kid, about 3 or 4 years old... he's my neighbour, everyday always comes outside my hse to talk to my bro n mother... juz now he juz went out of control n was damn noisy... dunno wad came over me, de usual me will juz keep quiet n continue wad i'm doing, but i shouted 'SIAN AH!'... well, not in his face, he couldn't see me even, but it was enough to keep him quiet... n off he went, back to his hse... a few min later, it hit me... i seem to be a changed person le... change to someone even myself won't like to be wif, but i haf 2 live wif myself...
I HATE MYSELF
pe had been an ok experience for me, no matter how it was, i would still get past it... no matter how tired my legs were, no matter how breathless i was, no matter how tough it was, i will still complete de stuff... saw june holidays as a great chance to improve my physical condition, but tues i realised that my so-called 'trainings' were as good as trash... 2 rounds 4 min, was part of de circuit training on tues... completed 1st set of running, stomach felt like overturned le... den it's de 2nd set of de circuit, ran eh... half a round? den i started to walk liao... totally dun haf that motivation to carry on le... where did de motivation in de 1st half of de year go to? left le mah? someone said this to me b4, 'cannot throw ncc face ah'... ya, true, i cannot throw ncc face, but i tink i threw it all on tues...
fren from PS saw me in canteen 2day... happened that i was asked y i didn't go PS... my reply was simple, 'i pon lor'... short n sweet, simply shows that all my previous talks abt photography were like trash too...
kinda not interested in studies anymore le... well, i'm not even sure if i haf that interest in de 1st place anot... physics qns were written on de whiteboard during phy lesson on tues... couldn't be bothered to take tys from locker, whole lesson was 'copying' some concept map on current of electricity, to show that i'm doing sth... in de end, de concept map was half copied, messy, n put aside... 2day another phy lesson, nvr did those qns, copied de workings of one qn from de whiteboard.. had seen these homework as responsibilities because i chose a jc, and now, i'm not bothered wif these responsibilities...
character changed a lot... to say de truth, an hour ago, shouted at a kid, about 3 or 4 years old... he's my neighbour, everyday always comes outside my hse to talk to my bro n mother... juz now he juz went out of control n was damn noisy... dunno wad came over me, de usual me will juz keep quiet n continue wad i'm doing, but i shouted 'SIAN AH!'... well, not in his face, he couldn't see me even, but it was enough to keep him quiet... n off he went, back to his hse... a few min later, it hit me... i seem to be a changed person le... change to someone even myself won't like to be wif, but i haf 2 live wif myself...
I HATE MYSELF
posted by lonewolf at 10:00 PM
1 Comments:
you cannot hate yourself because we all still like you. four-one will meet up sometime soon. by then, you must grow to loveeee yourself. we are waiting k, you must stay happy! cheer up!
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