very very tired now... but me myself dun even understand y m i still in front of the com... acting as a middleman sometimes is kinda tired one sia... need 2 pass msg around one source to another n back n forth.. i noe i haf no say in deciding whether to cancel the thing or to arrange it, coz i'm not involved in it anyway.. i'm juz that 'office boy' who's passing msg from one 'department' to the other... so juz haf 2 let all the ppl involved decided le den i can rest lor.. i guess in meantime, i'll juz blog a little here, instead of stoning in front of the monitor...

yesterday aj held a photo seminar... sometimes it really makes me tink abt my role in PS.. or shld i say my existence in PS... jian qi did a great job as one of the MC of the seminar, and chee wei oso was contributing, taking shots of the seminar.. tink they both haf a real good chance in entering the exco... got ppl tell me b4, since u not in exco anyway, dun care abt PS lah.. but my reply is always 'wah lau, how can like that tink one?' true.. i always feel that de cca i joined is PS, not PS exco.. always felt that PS is the only thing i can find joy in during my time in aj.. but PS is still full of cliques, n everyone is in their group, since day 1.. well, me oso in my own 'grp' lah, so can't blame others... but even in my own 'grp', i dunno if i'm really considered 2 be in that grp.. sometimes it's like i'm juz in my own world, while they r in their world... dunno leh, can't really seem 2 click.. anyway, got PS camp in june.. but tink 2 ppl in my 'grp' not going, den the other 2 tinking whether to go anot lor.. dunno them lah, that day den see how... anyway, met yuxuan, my og fren from 1st 3 months, who's in nj now.. coz she in nj PS oso, so tink she went to hear hear lor.. but she told me she in interact club exco now.. -_-" dunno whether she gonna continue in PS lah, see her lor.. after seminar i oso dunno wad 2 do.. called home only 2 find out that mother nvr cook lunch... so i'm supposed 2 settle my lunch lor.. but in de end oso nvr lah.. went to jubilee popular, den to compass point popular.. went to look for a particular comic series... i haf that series at home, had that quite long ago, den nvr bought le, so got some books missing, an uncompleted series... but been to many places le, still couldn't find, tink now dun haf le... den went home lor.. dun tink i did anything significant den...

2day... oso didn't do much... juz watched infernal affairs.. wonderin if i had missed out a lot of the original film, coz it was fitted into a 2-hr slot wif commercial breaks.. dunno lah, it's nice anyway...

1 more day to hell...

past couple of days had not been able 2 access the internet.. the msg 'modem is not connected' always popped up... so decided to reformat com yesterday, since like quite a while since last reformat le... den tried 2 install the modem into the system whole of yesterday nite, but no use, den this morning tried 1 time den ok le... this past week had been pretty ok, not really much mood for sch le, coz holidays are here le... monday got no sch, tuesday nth much really happened, juz that need 2 do afternoon pe, which was kinda sian.. wednesday didn't go PS, instead went national stadium watch soccer A divison finals... vj vs mj... oso saw felicia chin (chen feng ling) there.. she ex-vjcian mah, so tink she went there to support vj lor... anyway, mj put up a strong defence, vj's finishing wasn't good enough.. mj captain damn good lor, perfect timings of his tackles n intercepts... den mj's lone striker, (a bit like leon osman, his hair, size, and oso very agile) was very active and not afraid to go against the vj defence lor... den second half the 'leon osman' received the ball in the penalty box, moved the ball away from a vj defender and whacked the ball beyond the reach of vj goalkeeper... den vj kept pushing for the equaliser, den towards the end of the match mj captain conceded a penalty... den vj scored lor... den after extra time the score was still 1-1., so penalty shootout lor... vj 2 players missed, while mj the captain missed... in de end mj won lor... tink de man of the match shld be the mj captain lah, although he conceded the penalty n missed a penalty, but his tackles n intercepts were crucial ones lor, if not mj would haf lost le... den wed nite (thurs early morning) watched champions league finals... 1st half ac milan leading 3-0, den 2nd half within 6 min liverpool fought back to 3-3.. den liverpool won in penalty shootout lor... one of the best games i haf watched, n that shld be a game that goes down into the record books of champions league.. thursday, morning pe got play soccer, in de end played till all dirty, coz kept falling down on the wet field mah... den the rest of de day oso nth much.. den 2day... aj got be yourself day, but nvr go sch... afternoon went back anderson sec get o level cert, den after that went kang's hse... got 'swim', but lost abt 10 to 15 bucks.. i oso not sure, at 1st say is 15 bucks, den changed to 10 bucks... dunno y, shan't talk abt this anymore, juz hope that next time not negative le, is positive.. den came home lor... tml still got photo seminar at aj, almost forgot lor... lucky got PS ppl remind me abt it... damn sian, 8 muz reach sch liao.. haizz, there goes my saturday morning...

weekends r here again, but the pile of hw is unusually high for me this weekends though.. =/ every subject oso got something to do, only wif the exception of gp... nvm, since got 3-day break, shall do one each day... let's see wad happened this past week... can't seem 2 remember though... =/ nvm, talk abt yesterday can le... it's total boring in sch yesterday lor.. w/o any aim at all in sch yesterday lor.. during lunch break can't seem 2 find anyone at all, so went back to my homeroom, den only switching on one fan, n no lights, i started reading comics for that period.. speaking of comics, recently 'addicted' to comics yet again, addicted to 'prince of tennis', all thanks to fish n alfred for lending me their copies... back to yesterday, found sth real funny.. it seems like no one realises that i'm in my homeroom reading comics as they walked past my homeroom... i guess they saw that the lights were not on, so they expected no one to be inside, so in de end no one realised i'm inside... towards the end of that lunch break, one girl entered my homeroom, i presumed that she got lessons after that lunch break, n that there was no light on, so she juz entered.. den she saw me, shocked, den went out le... damn funny lor... anyway, sch ended at 2.15pm for me yesterday, den PS only starting at 3.40pm... very very sian, so decided to walk to amk library... den walked there, enjoyed air con, read a couple of books on photography... there was this book called 'a photographer's year' or sth like that... den the chapters were names of the 12 months of de year, den it showed each month that photographer went where to take wildlife pictures... the pics were damn cool lor, and very hard to take one, coz the animals can't possibly 'pose' for him to take mah... den stayed there for like 25 min, den walked back to aj le... met yuxin, she was waiting for her fren to come out n pass her the band cum CO concert tickets... she looked real out of place lor, her rj uniform in de middle of aj uniforms... chatted a bit wif her, den went for PS le... as usual, PS started real slow... everyone was slacking for more than half an hour b4 we started doing sth... de j1s were separated to 2 grps, one for painting banner, one for doing the exhibits... i was in the latter, and it took real long to finally finish everything... yesterday oso got interviews 4 those who wanna try for exco positions.. as jian qi n cw pointed out, i shld haf left earlier, since i got no interview, n yesterday got speech day mah... but PS is de only time i really find joy in during my stay at aj since jan, especially when i get to do stuff... so didn't leave till everything was settled... actually i really wanted to go back to and sec to see de ex-andersonians gif the gifts one lor, but as cw pointed out, there wasn't really any point to go back since it gonna ends le... so stayed back in aj lor.. by den cw, me n jian qi r de only j1s left le, wif de other j2s... settled everything le, den left sch wif de j2s lor... den me n cw walked towards kfc, while waiting for the other 4/1 ppl in and sec to decided where to go... den they decided to go mac, den me n cw continued walkin to mac... was damn famished liao lor, so we ordered n ate first... den yuan ru that gang arrived 1st... den ccy, lau, loh, teehong came.. den chinhwee, seowang, aizat came... den song guang and chuan jian oso came le... quite a few ex-andersonians oso went to mac... i had a pretty good chat wif the others, den took a couple of photos there at mac, pretty weird sia, take pics in mac... den song guang n cw n seowang left 1st, den de rest of us oso left together later... went home wif chinhwee in de same bus, talked a bit more abt sch life n stuff like that lor... den i reached home at almost 12, den showered, used com a while den went slp at 1 le... pretty nice gathering, but as each gathering goes by fewer ppl came... hope june holidays will haf a better gathering for 4one...

ok, a quick post b4 i go play my championship manager.. saturday went my cousin wedding buffet... pretty unusual lah, instead of the usual wedding dinner, where the food are served, it is in de buffet form, u wan how much u take how much lor... oh ya, and it's a lunch instead of a dinner, it was held from 1pm to 4.30pm, pretty unusual... den met a couple of my cousins whom i haf not seen for quite a while le... felt pretty distanced from them.. unlike how we used 2 be in de past when we were young, when we could play around like mad like that, not caring abt anything.. i guess everyone's all grown up, but my bro still pretty gd wif them, still can chat wif them, but i can't seem 2 liao... guess my bro got better social skills than i do ba.. yesterday was simply rotting at home, so shan't say much.. 2day.. morning rained yet again, and it was real heavy... tried 2 do the integration tutorial, but tink only did 2 or 3 qns, den stopped, listening to radio while watching de rain le... during sch very routine, nth much really happened.. after sch, me n chris dun take clao, so we needed 2 wait for two n a half hrs b4 de gp test started.. so went to eat, den went to extension there find the other ppl from 08/05, coz 2day they had oral test, so finished liao can go le... den after a while den went to reading room... quite a few 08 ppl there... den me, chris, yilong, kang seng, liang hock were talking crap, chatting... den there came this point when chris n yilong were listening to chris' mp3 player, den the song was 'forever love' by wang leehom, followed by his 'ai cuo'.. (actually ai cuo is oso playing in my com now, lol) then chris suddenly asked yilong if he has any regrets from sec sch anot... den yilong asked wad kind of regrets, n chris said according 2 de songs they were listening to lor.. and de atmosphere became a bit different at our table here.. well, kang seng was playing game wif yilong's phone, n liang hock went somewhere (tink is canteen), den there were me, chris n yilong, where de atmosphere pretty different... den yilong said of coz has one.. den he asked back chris de same qn, n chris oso said yes... i oso added that sec sch got 4 yrs, sure got some regrets left behind one... at then realised that actually there are ppl who r de same as me.. den de atmosphere pretty different 4 a while, den became all fun again, when yilong added a twist at de back and de 3 of us were laughing like mad like that, but it was real funny lah... lol.. now tink back still tink it's very funny... anyway, den gp test lor.. feel that i did pretty badly... de points were all squeezed out one, not naturally come abt one, even me myself after de completion of de essay felt that it sux... oso, my last paragraph, de conclusion only got 2 lines of words... not no time, when i finished still got like 7 min like that, but it's juz that brain cells all died le, couldn't tink how 2 continue de paragraph le, so left it like that lor...

finally the weekdays r ending again... a totally tired week, everyday attempted 2 slp early, but in de end still failed, so everyday wake up still very tired, 2day worst, almost continued sleeping after waking up briefly.. can't really remember de full details of the week liao, but a summary here shld do... monday, only remember got 2 tests that day, econs and f maths, den after sch went home that time met my 1st intake ogl in bus 72.. chatted quite a lot wif him, den found out that he actually lives somewhere near montfort, didn't noe abt that b4... tuesday, coz that day got afternoon pe, so supposed 2 haf napfa re-test that day.. but den my class decided 2 go 2 cheer the aj guys table tennis team in de third place playoff... aj team won de 1st 2 games, den tj won de next 2, den aj won in the last deciding game, so aj is third lor.. although we were 'supposed' to cheer aj on, at one time, we were pretty much more concerned abt the finals, nj vs rj.. especially de 3rd game (i tink), where de nj guy, heard that he's not singaporean, vs rj guy, heard that he's in team singapore one, juz returned back to s'pore a couple of days b4 tues.. in de end that rj guy won, but it's de amazing skills displayed by both that made that game damn nice 2 watch... wednesday, PS day again... was in the darkroom specialist team that day, soon found out that de machine used 2 'print' the picture from the film to a special paper was spoilt le, tink de bulb fused le... den oso learnt abt stuff on film.. den went to foyer for PDG phototaking practices... learnt wad 2 do during the PDG phototaking, like camera shld set to wad n wad etc.. thursday... got morning pe one, but raining, so de morning pe classes went mph and den de teachers talk talk to their classes... den after 1 period gone den someone suggested go gym for lesson... and off we went, den found out got a grp in gym liao, so went back... den mr koh brought a whiteboard there, and began his 'lecture' abt weights training.. den lecture lecture till almost another period gone, den asked us to do 3 sets of 5 pull-ups, den run 3 rounds, den can go le... friday.. 2nd PI got back, but ms tang said my beginning was too vague, so wan me 2 amend.. den she oso nvr see the below part, coz she said beginning not ok den no need see below le... so need 2 re-do again, but hope whole thing is fine... i really dun haf ideas left liao... den PS again, now wed n fri are PS cca days le... den went classroom 11-35, den the j2s tried 2 set up de machine to show the pics de PS members had submitted for de competition, but de projection is too dim, couldn't see a thing... den supposed 2 discuss abt de PS camp which is in june, in de end our grp oso not really productive i tink... den a paper was passed around, for the j1s to write down their names if they wanna try for any exco interviews... in de end i decided not 2 write, coz dun tink i can handle de job well anyway, so might as well be a 'commoner'... den tml need 2 go for some wedding buffet of my cousin.. wedding buffet?! me nvr heard of that b4, so tml go see see lor... i can either go early in de morning 2 his house 1st, or go to that venue myself.. tink i choosing de latter ba, go his house oso like nth do like that... besides, i oso dunno where de venue is, only got an address n a little map, so tml go find find lor... damn tired now, tink gonna go slp soon liao...

yesterday had napfa.. my 2.4 timing was 13:25.. pretty disappointing i muz say.. a pass that isn't like a pass, i only passed by 5 sec =/ dunno y lah, can't seem 2 stop walking, since de 3rd round i had 2 walk a distance every round... anyway, after sch got econs make-up lesson... supposed 2 be 1 period make-up, which was from 3.35pm to 4.15pm, but instead dragged to almost 5... de econs lessons r pretty good, till now, although miss ng is a bit more demanding.. but wif xavier around, de atmosphere is not really tense... miss ng kept coughing during the lesson.. tink she got this cough for around 3 weeks le, still haven't recover yet... no wonder lah, every lesson still talk so loud, den she said that she stayed in sch till around 9 everyday, which is till when de sch gate is abt 2 close, and heard from cw that for the past couple of days she juz slept for 2 hours.. 2 hours lor!! how 2 recover like that? and she still is so 'energetic' in class, when she is going 2 become a panda real soon if she continues like that... damn hiong lor..

today.. nth much really happened during the morning part of de day... den during mass civics de fun part came... apparently some guy sitting at the middle of the centre block of de audi wrote these on a piece of paper 'JUZ PASS!! there are footprints on the ceiling... look!!!' and passed it around.. my class was de second class from the front of the centre block.. i didn't fall 4 it, as it's juz a trick 2 trick ppl into looking up at the ceiling.. den as the paper was passed around, we had quite a good laugh when we saw ppl looking up, looking for those 'footprints'... den after sch, waited for PS 2 start... den only a few ppl went only... like around 10 plus j1s went only lor... den we were 2 cut the passport-sized photos of the j1s and put them into plastic packets, so that the photos can be given to the j1s next week... there are 40 j1 classes, and 10 were done yesterday, so we were 2 do 30 classes 2day... pretty no life lor, for every class it's de same old story.. cut, slice, put inside plastic packets and continuing all these processes... did from like 4 plus to like 9 like that... de j2s used the PS fund to order pizza as we were all hungry from the work... very tiring lah, but i feel that it's kinda fun 2 do these stuff... instead of like listening 2 all de theory stuff during PS, at least do sth still not bad, and can get 2 see the photos of ppl, ppl like chuan jian, sihui, and other andersonians and my other frens in other classes... monday got fm n econs test... pretty heavy i tink.. econs is from start to elasticity, and i nvr take econs in 1st 3 months, so need 2 study from scratch... den fm need 2 see see a bit, coz de topics like a bit unfamiliar liao, coz speeding so fast in lectures, topics learnt last time are very easily forgotten... anyway, real tired now, tink gonna slp soon liao...

ok.. a little entry for 2day... firstly, liverpool defeated chelsea 1-0 this morning to advance into the champions league finals... nth much i can say abt, juz that liverpool really deserves this win, and it will be total unfair if chelsea were 2 win this morning, coz liverpool really played very well... tot that mayb i would be (like wad antarctica always says) 'sprayed by acids' in sch 2day... coz acids are sour, so 'sprayed by acids' means kena 'suan-ed'... but it turned out 2 be juz fine... juz a couple of comments here n there, but not really say got 'suan-ed' till very bad... made me remember wad i did last time in 4/1... it was last season, and chelsea knocked out arsenal out of the champions league that time.. kept 'suan-ing' aizat, coz he arsenal fan mah, and becoz last season arsenal had defeated chelsea in all de games they met, b4 that game where chelsea won... now i realised that i did sth real wrong that time, shldn't haf 'suan-ed' aizat so much lor, de feeling is not nice lor... i damn bad sia, damn me!!! but he oso very nice lah, he oso nvr snapped back at me, if i were him i may haf already scolded back at this irritating guy le... haizz, muz change myself! den 2day did something real bad oso... after PS, me n cw went 2 interchange wait 4 our buses... den mine came, so i ran 2 catch it... den another ajcian, running from another direction, oso chasing de bus... i only saw him at the bus there... den as i was about 2 enter, he slipped and fell... den i was like stunned for 1 or 2 sec, den i waited outside the bus, looking at that person, tinking if i shld go in n help anot... damn it lah, shld haf helped immediately lor... den i waited him 2 stand den i entered bus, and b4 i moved up 2 the upper deck, i turned 2 ask him if he's ok anot, but he juz ignored me n moved into de lower deck... wad was i tinking lor?! shld haf helped him immediately when he fell, instead of staring at him... i guess he muz be tinking that i'm amused by his fall, coz he muz haf noticed my presence outside the bus for so long... although we r strangers 2 each other, but last year when i met wif de motorcycle accident, many strangers oso immediately stepped in 2 help me n de cyclist ah.. so i can't understand y i didn't step in 2 help de guy who slipped... this would be great lor, that guy muz haf labelled me as an inconsiderate person, and it will be damn awkward if we meet in sch in future... DAMN ME LAH!!!

weekends really pass real fast... even though there is the 3-day break this week, it still seems 2 pass very fast... let's see... saturday.. didn't do much, except completed the transformation of curves tutorial, watched a lot of tv, including golden bowl, de channel u talkshow, goals, amazing race (which i recorded) and so on... well, chelsea clinched de premiership title on saturday, after a 50-year wait.. now thinking abt it, m i a chelsea supporter? well, i'm sure that i wasn't a supporter of any club a couple of years back, namely before sec 3... now thinking more abt it, i 'became' that chelsea supporter simply because back in 4/1 there were many man utd and arsenal supporters, and that in the league there were man utd, chelsea and arsenal fighting at the top of the table, so i guess i 'became' the chelsea supporter simply for fun, juz found it fun 2 haf this 'supporter rivalry' in 4/1... well, i guess i'm getting tired of all the 'use money 2 buy success' and 'cheater chelsea' and stuff like that... i guess i can say here that i'm no longer a supporter of any club from now on...

let's move on, sunday... went gl's hse early in the morning, 10 like that... for 'swim'!!! quite a while nvr 'swim' le.. (aka mahjong) me, ben, qy n gl were de starting four, and de morning was bad enough for me liao... lost like 20 bucks le... den substituted by jy, who came later... den i went on 2 play ps2, courtesy of jy who brought it, wif zh, who oso came later... finally, ty oso came le, like mini antarctica gathering like that... den went rivervale plaza for lunch, den after lunch went back gl hse lor... den until like 6 like that zh left le, coz he meeting his family for dinner outside... so i came in... luckily got gl by de side 2 help me, cut back a lot of losses... in the end i lost 12 bucks, flat... lucky nvr passed my record, which is 18 bucks... let's move on to today... didn't do much actually, did de dynamics tutorial, still very unsure of this topic, only did the 1st 5 qns, sth like anyhow do one, try try luck, see tally wif de ans given anot... sian leh, this topic very big lor, need 2 get it right from the very start, if not i sure die when de lectures continue... will try find some time 2 go thru de notes again n again... den tried the matrices tutorial, oso very difficult leh, dunno how 2 do sia, see how tml liao... den juz now watched good luck... 2day 2nd last episode le, tml final episode... sian lor, y muz so fast end, good show leh... tsutsumi shinichi is definitely my fav actor in that show... he is a damn good actor lor... he is supposed 2 haf that cold face throughout the entire show, but when he's not supposed 2 change that cold expression, he acted thru his eyes... u can see his sadness, happiness, relief, depression and many other feelings juz thru his eyes.. wad i can only say is.. PRO! oso, from 2day's episode, as quoted from shinkai (aka takuya kimura), sth like "the legs r mine, if even me myself gif up, den there's really no hope le"... this really makes me tink abt myself.... i haf been giving my frustrations abt my lousy body, my wrist, my lousy stamina and stuff like that all de time... wad does this show? simply shows that i'm a weak person, weak mentally, giving up whenever any little problem pops up... been saying i wan 2 achieve this achieve that, but do i really wan it? take for example napfa... been saying i wanna try for that silver, in de end leh? failed my pull-up, and my 2.4 timing is still far from that 12:30... heard this b4, 'if u wan sth real badly, u will do anything 2 get it'... so do i wan that napfa silver real badly? or is it juz sth that i juz say for fun? another thing 2 comment abt myself... often say a lot of stuff w/o much thoughts... den later some time den wanna take back all those stuff i had said earlier... one example was mentioned above, that chelsea supporter thingy... kinda dumb rite? compared to all those real supporters, i'm totally a joke lah, an insult to them lor... another example, becoz of the wrist, b4 de last soccer game i played in (4/1 vs 4/6), i was talking stuff like 'that gonna be my last game as the goalkeeper'... but after that very day when the game was played, realised that i said de wrong stuff yet again... i'm not willing 2 gif up that position yet... i still got many things 2 improve on, things which i tink i can improve on, not juz crapping... especially during that very game, when i felt that i had more 2 contribute 2 de team, and some goals r conceded stupidly...

anyway, tml got afternoon pe... dunno haf anot.. and dunno if the 2.4 run is tml or thurs, during morning pe... guess i juz haf 2 be mentally prepared ba, prepared for anything, and prepare 2 run like i nvr run b4 if the run is tml...