it's all noisy at aj rite now, i guess... it's de finale nite of orientation, dance nite, which is not compulsory to go... and now i'm at home, in front of the com monitor, updating my blog... the councillors had been asking the j1s to go for the finale nite, saying, 'if u r free, and wanna haf fun, aj is the place for u.. we got games, cheers, free dancing... blah blah blah' and adding, 'but it's optional, so if u wanna study for the lectures starting on tues, u can dun come...' no, i dun mean that i'm mugger phua, i not at home now reading lecture notes, or doing tutorials... it's juz that i wanna say that the councillors left out another group of ppl, my kind of ppl, the kind that for god's sake can't dance at all and go to dance nite will be a total waste of time n energy...

anyway, as mentioned earlier, lectures start on tues, which is tml... haf 2 change gear for study mode liao, but knowing me, i won't quite care much abt it anyway... i'll juz do all the tutorials as they r my responsibilities and that's all, i tink... oso, gl juz now msg me informing us abt our class allocation, coz de class allocation list was only out at 5pm, and as he had training 2day, so asked him 2 help us see... i'm in 08/05, gl and kang in 07/05, dunno y it's put like this.. haizz, now i lone andersonian in my class le, haf 2 make new frens liao, de process of making new frens quite sian leh, require lots of time 2 become good frens lor... haizzz

quite some time nvr update le, was planning 2 update this after watching chase yesterday nite... but as chase ended at 9, and i could only use de com at 9.30, i went to lie on my bed... but being too tired from the past 2 days, i fell asleep, so i didn't use the com at all yesterday =/anyway, update now lah... let's see... firstly, i changed phone le... after being wif me for like 3 yrs le, my 8210 is replaced by 6230... more functions than my old one lah (of coz), but i still feel that i rather wan a new com, considering that my 8210 still has the basic functions of a phone, while my com is not up to date le, a lot of games cannot play, and not forgetting how slow it is..

next, got back posting result on tuesday, got posted to aj.. heard that cut-off for aj this year is partial 8, so some ppl wif nett 8 can go in, some can't... most ppl of 08/05 were posted back to aj, apart from a couple, two went rj and nj respectively, while another 2 were posted to srjc and ij, but i tink they appealing back... den a couple of my 1st intake og's frens were posted to other sch... actually can say most lah, coz i only got 4 'frens' from that og, and these 'frens' are juz those whom i exchange greetings wif when i see them in sch, den the others... like strangers lah.. 3 of these 4 'frens' left anyway...

next, after getting posting results, it will be the 2nd intake orientation lah... at aj, it's the tribal funka thingy again... this time, each dwelling will be each class from the 1st intake, plus the 2nd intakers... i'm again in altjira again as my tribe, but my dwelling is not flambeu le, it's noala... oso, winglok is in noala too... that makes 4 andersonians in my dwelling, including me, gl and kang... and he's gonna take the same subject combi as us, so mayb we 4 may be in the same class... anyway, 1st day of orientation, actually oso nth much happened, juz the usual ice-breaker games, and cheers... that day wasn't de day for my tribe to learn the couple dance, so escaped it, but anyway altjira's gonna learn it on monday, so... it's a sooner or later thing... instead we went for the rotation games, halfway thru the games time, it rained, and it made the ground wet... den there was this game, where the j1s have to jump from hula-hoop (hmm, dunno spelling correct anot...) to hula-hoop, in total 4, to get the other side and try 2 take sth from the pail... anyway the game is not de main point, the main point is that i fell down during the games =/ actually not fell lah, more like slipped... coz my shoes haf studs, so when de ground is dry it's a little slippery on some surfaces, so i can't run fast... now that it's wet, my shoes became like ice-skating shoes... and so while i jumped and landed, i skidded and fell down... 2nd time i fell down during orientation liao lor.. 1st time was during the 1st intake orientation when i fell down when my shoe came off while i was running... sian lah, how come orientation i muz fall down one =/

2nd day of orientation, haf 2 learn dance in the morning, the individual dance, wad slam dunk da funk... anyway, half the time i was standing up pretending 2 learn the dance, coz i'm kinda handicapped when i'm dancing lah, coz i can't dance =/ anyway, de other half i was sitting down on the back of the hall, watching other ppl learning... oso, during one of the water breaks, i went to talk to my ogl, from my 1st intake... he was there becoz he was from ava, and he was to video down the whole thing.. and so we talked about lots of stuff lor... from f maths, and econs, to that cjc girl he saw earlier on whom he thinks is chio one, but i didn't see her... den it was de end of the water break le, and he had to carry on his duties le... so at the end of the learning session, each tribe has 2 dance tribe by tribe... oso, while each tribe is dancing, that tribe has to send a couple of j1s up de stage to dance... yuanru and chuanjian were sent up to dance... they were the 'sweet girl' and 'cute boy' as quoted from the councillors.... den there was this guy, 1st intake was in ij one... he totally distorted de whole dance, none of his moves tallied wif the others dancing on the stage, and his actions were very big, and damn funny, and almost everyone in the hall was laughing at him... the laughter was so loud that it can be heard over the loud music... but that guy either didn't realise they were laughing at him, or he didn't care, and he carried on the comedy... den later part of the day was the mission game, which i won't touch much on, it was mainly water games lah... den it was end of the day le... finale on monday will be a dance nite, but it's optional for us to go... dunno going anot, like kinda sian leh, considering that i'm handicapped when it comes to dancing..

holidays ah... holidays are supposed 2 be fun and relaxing, but it's only boring for me... for de past few days haf been rotting at home, playing ps1, playing old games =S winning eleven 2002! wad the heck! such an old game le, wif so lousy abilities of the players... no choice, no $$ buy ps2, so only can play old games... heard that 4/1 is going sentosa tml evening and stay overnite till fri.. heard that this was decided last fri during the mini gathering, when i left early, so didn't hear abt it.... heard this thing only recently, and it was known 2 me when ppl started 2 ask me abt it, on whether it's still on, the details etc, when they didn't realise i wasn't even there when they talked abt it on fri =/ i oso not going tml anyway, coz xin you yu er li bu zu, no $$.... so no choice lah, very hard-up recently, especially after the pain on monday =S still remembered that outing to sentosa last year, still remembered it was after speech day, when we all rushed to catch the last bus from harbourfront to sentosa... den played games on the beach, lay down on the beach, together wif aizat and justin, to watch the sky, many stars and shooting stars (small ones) that nite, den that crazy guy, who shouted stuff like "so noisy, affect others' sleep" etc, tink he shouted at us, coz we played games into the nite... but that guy awakened me from my 30-min slp... =S i juz fell asleep on the beach lor, under the stars and shooting stars lor, den his shouting woke me up =S that outing was very successful, all the ppl had great fun down there, away from the urban mainland...

memories ah.... all those remain in memories le, included in my happiest memories of anderson sec... to those reading this and going tml (although i doubt that no one comes 2 this blog anymore), have fun hor! oso, help me count the number of shooting stars hor! =P (i did count the number of shooting stars i saw last yr, but i forget the number le... )

here are some comments from a total f**ker i heard juz now... he n his wife are quarreling... coz his wife is going back to her hometown, in malaysia, to pay respects at her parents' graves... however this man dun like it... he's unhappy that his wife dun listen to him... so whenever he and she talked, they will start 2 quarrel, coz he feels that she is always talking back at him... now he said of conditions... if she talks back at him in the future, she has to pay him $200, while if it's vice versa, den he has 2 pay her $200.... but wad is considered as 'talking back'?? one example he said to be 'talking back' is, when he said that his wife's education level is higher than him, becoz she completed secondary education, while he didn't even pass PSLE, and when his wife said that cannot like that compare becoz education in malaysia and singapore are different, this man considered his wife as talking back... by laying this condition, this man has secured easy money for himself... in the future, he can always say that anything his wife says are considered as 'talking back', and he can secure that easy $200 earned, and he can always says that wad he says is not considered as 'talking back'... oso, he questions his wife on y she always talks back, and y she dun wan 2 give in, so that there will not be quarrels... he oso says that now his wife shld be very happy le, coz a few years back when he wanted 2 buy a car, she opposed, and at that time she was unhappy and jealous that he has more money than her in his bank account... so now that a car is bought, he has lesser money in his account, so she shld be very happy.... finally, he said that life is short, ppl shld learn 2 enjoy themselves in their lives, and he tells his wife that if life is miserable, y not go up a building and jump down and end everything.......

a couple of things 2 think about de case shown above... first, y the heck are conditions set up? this is a marriage, not a business dealing or wadsoever... next, wad's up wif the 'u r jealous that i got more money' ??? she is ur wife leh, by right ur money can be considered as hers liao, and u gonna support her anyway, or r u de one who sees money more important than anything else in the world? next, this man expects his wife 2 give in to him, but, this is a marriage, concerning 2 ppl, both equal, and not him the higher being, and his wife the lowly being... lastly, wad is this man trying 2 imply? that becoz his wife feels that money shld not be spent wastefully, like on stuff like a car becoz they dun use it often, and so her life is miserable? so she shld go jump down from a building?! wad the heck! oh ya, juz 2 add, this man has not worked for 1 month le, he has been living a life of juz eating, sleeping, watching tv, going out for coffee wif his frens (that's wad he said) for this 1 month... so he expects money 2 drop from sky??

it is said that ppl's thoughts, beliefs, views will change as they mature and grow up... so is it true? i guess so ba... like ppl watch all kind of cartoons when they r kids, and den watch less and less, and finally dun watch cartoons at all... another example oso shows this... a kid, when young, will feel that having a full family is important, and will hope that his/her parents will not break up/divorce... but as this kid grows up, he/she may changes his/her thinking... he/she will rather the break-up/divorce to be sooner than later, coz he/she will wan 2 end all the quarrelling at home le, since his/her parents r finding it hard 2 live wif each other le... believe me, this is true, although mayb not for all cases of problematic families lah, but for some it's definitely true, i noe....

after all the thinking and finally making the decision to choose a jc, it kinda changes a bit 2day le... started 2 tink whether 2 switch 2 poly at some point... coz to be a student is really a burden 2 the family... let's tink about it, if stay in jc, it will be 2 yrs in jc, about 2 yrs in ns, den 3-4 yrs in U, den it will be like at least 7 years more w/o much income n contribution to de family... this burden can easily increase greatly if in some way or another, de income of the family suddenly drops, like the breadwinner not working, or suddenly no more breadwinner etc.... not 2 forget that de family has not juz one person schooling... den if go poly, it's juz 3 yrs in poly, about 2 yrs in ns, so makes about 5 yrs w/o much income... so can start work earlier, and den provide for the family earlier, if sth should happen....

a fren 2day told me that everyone has their own troubles, so dun be too troubled by my troubles... but it oso makes me realise that like this cannot really tell ur troubles 2 others, coz they oso got their troubles 2 tink abt, and thus they will be more troubled by u...

1 week juz passed like this... 2 plus months oso juz passed like this... term 1 ended 2day... looking back at this week... monday, half day coz of a level results... after sch went orchard, 1st went taka, to the bookstore (kino.... dunno how spell lah) coz qy wanna look for chinese chess books, den gl went back sch for training, while me, kang n qy went cineleisure... was deciding whether 2 watch hitch or a series of unfortunate events, den finally decided 2 watch hitch... it was nice, quite funny, overall it is a good movie... lucky didn't choose series of unfortunate events, coz other ppl of my cls, who went 2 watch it on the same day at j8, said it was not good... tuesday... nth much about it lah... wednesday... juliana, yuanru, byy, vk came 2 crash aj... went play pool wif ben, kang n qy after sch... thursday... gl n kang didn't come again, so i'm de only andersonian in class again... den pe total only 4 guys went for it... the girls all pon, 2gether wif de other boys... friday, today... yuanru n byy came crash aj again... zhihao and ty oso came crashing... den zhihao went the it fair, den me, kang, gl, ty, acy n qy went kfc eat... den went home, b4 going out again to yishun mrt 2 meet the 4/1 ppl... got 4/1 small gathering 2day... met quite a few old frens whom i haven't seen or spoken to for a long time... went to mac, at sembawang cottage (dunno where one), some isolated place, so got space for the group of us... took time 2 talk to almost everyone... talked to seejay, cason, kenny abt their lives in the 1st 3 months... talked to yunsheng abt his crap econs teacher, who first asked his students to keep de cards, which they took out 2 play, but they dun care, den later the teacher asked if he could join in anot... talked to aizat about camp and his future jc life... talked to loh about badminton at ij, star player liao lah... talked to ccy about the jc life, and the situation of jc now... talked to lau and chinhwee abt computing... talked to ant about vj... asked jasmen, teehong n chuanjian on whether chem or econs is better... talked to yuanru n claire abt a guy... talked to sihui about f maths... talked to cheewei about his jc life at aj... finally, found out that i hadn't eaten dinner, while de rest kinda had finished their dinner le.. lol... den got cake for those whose b-days are in feb to may... although i dun like cakes, but still haf 2 eat, coz had 2 appreciate the efforts in getting the cake... finally left early wif cason, kenny and seejay... was deciding whether 2 play pool or watch movie... den went GV yishun, but the movie kenny wanna watch, 'a moment to remember', is not shown... so me, cason n seejay went amk for pool, while kenny went home... played pool for 1 plus hour lor, b4 going home...

gathering ended, quite imperfect... some asked y need de extra troubles to go so far to de sembawang cottage mac when there's one in north point... some said abt lack of programmes... some said abt not really well planned... but anyway since it had ended, no point of thinking about 'wad if's le...

had to accept that some stuff are juz the way they are, since the very very start, when they were created, so no point of thinking so much abt these things... realised that this term 1 had not been a really great experience for me, as compared to last year, although last year got the big O's... guess starting from this march holidays i really gotta stick real close to my new year resolutions i made quite some time ago....

i will try 2 completely forget those stuff i had decided 2 forget... i promise.... these burdens will drag me down mentally....

hell lah!!! wad the hell is wrong wif me?!?!?! y m i feeling some weird nowadays?!?! am i tired now? i dunno... SERIOUSLY, i dunno... i feel like i'm in a state of mind that is tired and wanna go sleep le, coz i didn't sleep much yesterday nite, but i oso feel at the same time that my eyes are not tired at all, not heavy, not feeling like wanna close like that, still haf that energy to last till 12am oso can, thus not tired... wad's wrong wif me le... 2005 is definitely not a good year at all for me, since the start of year... like wad my fren said, i'm getting old le... seriously ageing le... i'm beginning 2 lose interest in everything... and i seriously mean EVERYTHING... everything i like and am interested in one are all getting boring for me le... soccer ah.. maths ah.. geog ah.. going 2 sch ah... history of eastern europe ah... and so on and so on... all getting sian for me le...

haizzz, oso see through many things liao le, understand that many things haf 2 be like wad they r now le.... like my easily injured body, my unfixable hand, my gradual loss of fire (passion) for soccer, my won't likely 2 be improved fitness and so on... my only fear is that i may juz explode one of these days... be it explode wif anger, or like suddenly burst in tears.... i dunno, but i may explode any day.... yesterday nite went 2 sleep at 11.30pm, but stayed awake thinking a lot of stupid stuff, till like 12.30am like that, den fell asleep... i tink i oso typed enough in this entry le, stay online oso nothing 2 do lah, only stared into the screen blankly...

after 1 BIG round of thinking, consideration, dilemma, and external influence, i have finally decided... 4 years ago, when i was sec one, and didn't think much ahead, had already planned this path le... 4 years later, which was recently, other options oso popped up, switching my initial one-way path to a crossroad... now i haf chosen that very old path again... it's gonna be ajc for my these 2 years le.... a couple of reasons y i didn't choose nyp or nj... firstly, y not nyp? gl and i discussed abt de courses yesterday, and i realised that there isn't any that really interests me... my point of going to poly is to end education there and go work after NS, and if i can't choose a course, it will not work out... oso, de sch fees of poly is real high, much higher than that of jc, and if i gonna continue U after poly, it's gonna be hell taxing on my family... so better not ba... plus, my mother's frens say that poly is not really 'good'... but i tink 'good' or 'not good' r words that are really subjective... next, y not nj? quite a few ppl promoted nj to me... some stuff include, 'it shld be no prob for u' or 'can go higher than shld go mah'... but i guess i dun wan 2 risk my future ba, coz i really dunno if nj will suit me anot... mayb if i had gone to nj for the 1st 3 months den it may be a different story, if nj really suits me... so choose aj lor, and oso shld be choosing science stream... reason is oso simple, as my mother heard from her frens again, choosing art stream in jc will result in very limited courses in U, so shld be taking physics lor, so that there will be more courses for me 2 choose from in U, although i did mention earlier that none really interests me yet... so i guess i'll be taking physics juz for the sake of taking it lor...

so i guess my problem of choosing a jc is solved le... to those who r still confused and dunno which path 2 choose, good luck~~

i had long decided last year that i wanna forget all those.... but y the heck did it come to my mind again that day?!?!

wednesday liao.... 3rd day of this week le, that leaves today, tml and friday for me to make de big decision... very confused now lah... aj or nj or nyp??? 3 choices, which is de best one for me? aj.... i have been there for the first 2 months or so le... environment still ok, not say very stressful lifestyle, juz that de discipline over there a bit strict.... nj... only been there twice, once during last year's open house and this year crash 1 time... bigger sch than aj, environment seems fine, but never experience de actual environment during lessons' time, and dunno whether competition there is fierce anot... nyp... i thinking of this becoz the pace in jc is really fast... so mayb de slower pace of poly education can suit me more... but de problem here is that i dunno wad course i shld take in poly... there are many in nyp, but nth really interests me....

many ppl often ask me wad jobs i wanna take in de future, so can move towards that direction... de problem is..... i dun tink ahead one!!! instead de jobs i thought of b4 are not really say common one... instead of the engineers ah, business ah, law ah, i thought of jobs like cameraman (those kind working in mediacorp one), zookeeper, fireman, cabby driver etc... worse come to worse join army lor...

my education future in singapore looks bleak sia... yesterday nite (actually is this morning, like 1am or 2am like that), went to NUS and NTU webby see see, so as to see which course i will take in de future, so as 2 plan for now... but de courses dun interest me leh.... like that i oso dunno whether 2 take art or science stream in jc leh... art kinda interests me lah, but if i take art stream, den i won't take physics, so all de engineering-related courses in U i cannot take le... so take science stream? juz for the sake to take physics so i can join engineering course in U, den will at least get that degree, den worry abt jobs after that? haizzz, this thing SUX man!!! so ma fan lor...